MPC (Q2 2018): Testimony from Gerard and Alicia

Gerard:

Alicia and I, have known each other for more than 16 years and have been together for 13 years.
Knowing each other and being in a relationship for so many years, many thought that our relationship was smooth as silk, without quarrels, without squabbles. That was only the surface.

Alicia:

Who would have thought that with time, we would get more easily upset with each other, over minor things that can actually be resolved simply.
Some of the examples were: Chronic lateness, hurtful jokes, insensitivities, judgemental remarks etc.

Since joining MPC, we have come to recognise that we can help each other improve our relationship and overcome our faults and weaknesses using the tools they taught us.

One of the many things that MPC introduced us to was ”reconciliation”, the act of looking into each other’s eyes and holding each other’s hands, seeking forgiveness for the wrong we did; searching our souls for petty things that should not even have been an issue.

Gerard:

Being punctual is very important to me but it became an issue when Alicia always kept me waiting. In the past, while waiting for her to turn up for Mass, i would usually spam her whatsapp commenting that if she had left the house earlier, she would be there in church on time. Both of us would already have been angry and upset before meeting. However, recently, after MPC, she was late for our appointment to meet for Mass. Instead of sending her the long string of text messages of how she could have been early, I chose not to focus on my annoyance but to pray for her to make it on time before the Priest walks down the aisle. Lo and behold, she made it and was on time. Instead of feeling irritated, i felt a sense of joy.

Unknowingly, being bombarded by the “world’s plan for us” our sensitivities towards each other have been numbed. Perhaps, being friends for too long has made us “bold” in terms of our tone and in terms of the crude jokes we make of each other. We might think it is ok, but in actual fact, our partner feels the hurt. It gets real when we talk about career progression, money, settling down etc. Unknowingly, we put down each other rather than raise each other up. MPC has indeed reminded us not to take each other for granted and to use the tools of being life-giving to each other.

Alicia:

Another topic that struck us was “love is a decision”.

Making sense of God’s plan for us can be a challenge without understanding the concept that “Love is decision” For example;

    • Listening when we are tired and impatient.
    • Forgiving without Judging.
    • Not keeping score of who wins or who loses.

At the end of the day, we learnt not to hold onto the hurt but to let it go.

As couples and individuals, we are guilty of not being able to instinctively make love a decision. MPC however has deeply seeded this within our minds and we have since verbalized “this decision to love” each time we feel hurt, and immediately forgive. There were several occasions when Gerard, without a word, would just walk away after a disagreement leaving me standing alone, hurt and angry. Ever since attending MPC, I have learnt to understand things from Gerard’s point of view and why he does it. The stress at work would trigger his “teenage stomping” episodes. Just recently though Gerard made a decision to love me when he didn’t walk away after a disagreement. As for me, normally, I would pass hurtful remarks to him but this time round, I made a conscious decision to love him by holding back a comment I knew he would get upset with and tried my best to listen.

MPC has been transformational, it has also opened our eyes to the struggles that other couples faced especially our wonderful presenting couples. 

Gerard:

We were brought closer through the weekly sessions and have committed ourselves to do more activities together such as praying together, going for holy hour together, attending mass together.

We found the couple paks to be very  useful. If possible, we would recommend friends to attend this course too as the couple paks forces us to talk about issues that we might brush aside with our day to day hectic schedule.

Alicia:

With this, we would like to thank you and wish everyone all the best in your upcoming marriages. Thank you all for the wonderful journey

 

Best Regards

Gerard & Alicia

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